Posted by: wryman | March 20, 2008

Beer Can Trellises and Flea Market Nuptials

A co-worker recommended that I watch this show on CMT. She thought I might be able to use it as an anti-planning guide. The show is called My Big Redneck Wedding. I’m not sure it takes much more description than that.

I mentioned to Jessika that we should watch the show together, and she stated “I think I’ll skip that one.” So, I managed to watch a couple of episodes last night while I was bored at work. They were interesting, to say the least. Really, they were sort of like watching a train wreck in slow motion. They included the various trappings like shotgunned beers and bottle rocket war bachelor parties. The wedding party might be dressed in camouflage or matching John Deere t-shirts. I liked the Bachelorette Passion Party, complete with nipple clamp references. And, the ceremony at a flea market was a must see. The trellis decorated with empty beer cans (held on with zip-ties) was also a nice feature. And, no reception is complete without a hall decorated with all of your animal trophy mounts.
I was wondering how much influence the “Jerry Springer Show” had on this show. I know, the immediate reaction would be akin to “where do you think he gets his guests?” But, that was not what I was wondering. I was wondering if these people were looking for a simple sort of wedding and the TV producers were like “Okay, now take that idea and go over the top,” or “Okay, when you go to the florist, bring a beer in a brown bag. Perfect. Oh, that is so despicable. Yes!”

Of the three episodes I saw, I’d have to say that my favorite groom was John. This guy was a prolific pisser. The couple worked three newspaper routes together. This guy, evidently, pissed out his proposal on the street during a potty break. No shit! They showed a sample of his work after they left the florist. He spelled out his wife’s name “Gail” on the asphalt. I was fairly impressed by both the ability (I cannot write legible cursive with a pen) and the bladder capacity. I think “Will you marry me, my sweet love?” would take a lot of coffee and some good old fashioned holding it. Although, I am thinking he may have settled on “Merry me?”

You know, it would be easy to write everything off as over the top antics to make people look dumb. It really would be. But, ultimately, I did notice one thing underlying everything else. The couples did have a sense of love and commitment towards each other, even if they did display it through gratuitous tongue action.


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